The Holidays Are What You Make Of Them

THE HOLIDAYS ARE WHAT YOU MAKE OF THEM


It’s “that time of year” here in the USA and many places in the world. Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, Winter Solstice, Yule, something else or nothing at all, you are unlikely to escape events that occur during this time of year. For me, some years I have been totally engrossed in celebrations and other years, not so much.  In this short blog I'm going to offer a few tips from DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) that might make the season more enjoyable for you no matter your feelings about it.  

A quick side note, DBT is an orientation we regularly operate from at Elephant Rock Counseling that emphasizes finding just the right balance and tension between the polarities we find in life, such as the simultaneous need for deep acceptance and much needed change in certain situations.  A certain phrase I have always liked that probably does a better job capturing what that really means and gets right to the heart of Holiday dilemmas, "If I only stand for myself what do I stand for, If I don't stand for myself who will?"  

Circling back, here are some tips to help make your Holiday more enjoyable:

• PLEASE is one of my primary go-to skills any time but especially important during times of potential stress.  It stands for:

PL – Physical – take care of yourself physically. Maintaining good physical health can ward off potential problems.  Make sure you follow good hygiene, get a flu shot, washing hands frequently, sneezing into a tissue or your elbow, avoiding crowds if you have immune concerns and taking medications as prescribed. 
E – Eat properly; not too much or too little. Enjoy the sweets but don’t go overboard. Balance is key.
A – Avoid non-prescribed drugs, excess alcohol. Limit caffeine and sugar.
S – Get enough sleep. 
E – Exercise! This is one people often miss. You don’t have to enter a marathon or iron man/woman contest. Getting outside and raking leaves, sweeping the porch or backyard, gardening (for me); walking the dog; taking a walk around the block. In addition to exercise, you get the benefit of being outdoors and maybe getting some sunshine.

• KNOW YOUR LIMITS – Consider when to say yes and when to decline. Over-commitment can lead to stress and even resentment. 

 

• PLAN AHEAD – Start with knowing your limits (above) – and be prepared for obstacles and changes. Having a Plan B and being flexible and gentle with yourself can help ward off unnecessary stress.

 

• SELF-CARE – Taking time for yourself in ways that nurture your body, mind and soul are not an option if you want to maintain your sanity. For me, following my daily sitting practice, reading something uplifting or humorous, yoga and movement, getting a walk and a workout, as well taking time to feed the birds in the morning and waiting for them to arrive and feed are ways I practice self care.

 

• GIFTS AND GRATITUDE – I am putting gifts and gratitude together because I think of them that way. We are given a gift each morning when we wake up and take that first conscious breath of the day. I try to begin and end my day with gratitude for those gifts. When you are considering gifting people you love and care about, remember it doesn’t have to cost a lot to mean a lot. Sure, I love gifting my kids and grandkids, and some years I spend more than others.  I often gift socks, and everyone loves them. Handmade gifts, including cookies and candy, imbued with our time, energy and love are well received. Gifts that promise time and efforts are other ways to show our love and appreciation. I like to give to places and organizations that I want to support, not only because of the good work they do but also because they feed my soul.

 

• REACH OUT  - Open up to family or friends about your feelings, and if despite all your best efforts, you (or someone you know) struggles with depression and they are unable to manage or at any time has any thoughts of suicide or self-harm please contact:

1-800-273-8255 (NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION HOTLINE)
1-314-469-6644 (BHR – LOCAL HOTLINE)
CALL 911 or go to the nearest emergency room


These are just a few ways you might find helpful. I’m sure you can think of more. My wish for you is a peaceful, joyful and stress-free holiday.  If all else fails, just remember that December 21 is the shortest day of the year and the days start getting longer as the wheel of the year turns again.  And remember, if you need some help managing your stress and anxiety, please feel free to call us at Elephant Rock Counseling.


​
San Mueller, M.Ed., LPC, LBC-DBT Certified
Elephant Rock Counseling 
​Kirkwood, MO

San is a Licensed Professional Counselor with Elephant Rock Counseling, LLC.  San specializes in therapies that utilize mindfulness based principles such as Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT).  She enjoys teaching yoga, spending time with her family, and working with her clients.