Holiday Reflections - And Tips on Balancing Joy & Seasonal Stress.

HOLIDAY MUSINGS, REFLECTIONS AND GOALS


No matter your religious, spiritual or philosophical background, we can’t help but be impacted by the season.  The question is how we are impacted.  What does this holiday mean for you?  Do you look forward to the holidays?  Time with family and friends?  Is gift giving something you enjoy or is it something you would prefer to avoid?  For many of us there’s a middle  ground if we take time to consider what it is we are celebrating and make our own choices as how best to honor our personal beliefs.


For Christians, and this is the dominant focus in the US, the celebration Christmas (Christ’s Mass) is the birth of Jesus Christ.  Gifts are symbolic of the gifts brought by the wise men in the Christmas story.  One does wonder how we have come to a place that we believe we must shower our children with presents to the extent of going into debt for some.


For Jews, the seasonal celebration is Hanukkah commemorating the rededication of the Holy Temple of Jerulsalem. It is also known as the Festival of Lights and Feast of Dedication observed for eight nights and days. The events that inspired the Hanukkah holiday took place during a particularly turbulent phase of Jewish history around 200 B.C., Judea.  Many of my Jewish friends tell me children receive a gift on each of the 8 nights of Hanukkah.


Kwanzaa is a week-long celebration held in the United States and in other nations of the West African diaspora in the Americas. The celebration honors African heritage in African-American culture, and is observed from December 26 to January 1, culminating in a feast and gift-giving.  Kwanzaa has seven core principles (Nguzo Saba). It was created by Maulana Karenga and was first celebrated in 1966–67.


Other cultures have celebrated in different ways and while these practices have risen and fallen over time, religious or not, this is also the acknowledgment of Winter Solstice or hibernal solstice also known as Yule or midwinter.  It’s the shortest period of daylight and longest night of the year in the Norther Hemisphere.  Since ancient times people gathered to await the returning light with the promise of spring.  I’ve also found winter solstice a magical time as the following day the light begins to grow until mid-summer.  It’s somehow hopeful getting through cold, dark days knowing the light is growing.


If you are someone who relishes the season and doesn’t struggle excessively with the pressure and stress of shopping, wrapping, and decorating you can probably skip this section.  You’ve figured out how to make it work for you.  You might even consider adding some comments to this blog for those who are less able to manage the holiday season.  For those who find the holidays stressful I have a few suggestions:


1) Remind yourself what the holiday means to you.  What it really means.  Are you doing what you want to do or what you think you should do?
2) Make a list of the things that are stressing you out and decide if there are any you can eliminate.
3) As far as gift buying – see 1 and 2 above.  Decide the meaning and relevance.
4) If money is tight and you are purchasing gifts for your kids – consider buying 1 thing they want, 1 thing to wear, and 1 book for each child.
5) Consider homemade gifts:  bath salts, body scrub, cookies or candy for colleagues and friends.
6) Purchase gifts for charities as memorials.  These are gifts with thought, intention and whether purchased or made with love can be the most meaningful and memorable.
7) Monitor your stress level and give yourself the gift of renewal.


Make sure you are getting adequate sleep, exercise, eating healthy and taking care of physical and emotional health.  In our skills groups we teach people to balance “Priorities” and “Demands” & "Wants" and "Needs."  Priorities are important to you and Demands are things others demand of you.  Wants are things that you want to do and Needs are things that you need to do. 


When we enter the time of longer nights and shorter days, especially those of us in the colder climates, we may find ourselves wanting to slow down, called by the season to spend time inside, sleeping more with less energy.  We are called to hibernate, go within.  Some people are adversely affected and may experience Seasonsal Affective Disorder (SAD).  I sometimes wonder if this might be a reaction to our attempts to fight the call of the season.  If you find yourself exhibiting more serious symptoms lasting longer than a few days, you might want to consider talking with a counselor.


For many years, I have taken time at the end of the year, sometimes on New Year’s Day, to reflect on the year gone by, looking at accomplishments and goals met, as well as unmet and what I’ve learned.  I’ve done this for at least the last 15 years. I keep a journal and review it at the end of the next year.  While I don’t necessarily make New Year’s resolutions, I do make a list of goals. I list them in the following categories:


1) Spiritual
2) Emotional
3) Physical
4) Financial
5) Professional.


As I review the past year (and previous years), I recognize accomplishment and goals, achieved and progress made, or change them if that seems relevant .  I consider what I’ve learned in my reflections, and its helped me be more aware of things I need to release as well as where I need to push myself in order to keep growing and moving forward or where to step back.


I offer these musings and if you find them helpful, feel free to use, adapt or create your own.  We truly would love to hear what works for you.  If they aren’t helpful, just toss them to the wind.


I’ll end with a Rumi quote, one of my favorites:  “There is a field. Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing. I’ll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass the world is too full to talk about.”


Bright and Beautiful Blessings of the Winter Season
San Mueller, M.Ed. LPC, DBT

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San is a Licensed Professional Counselor with Elephant Rock Counseling, LLC.  San specializes in therapies that utilize mindfulness based principles such as Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT).  She enjoys teaching yoga, spending time with her family, and working with her clients.  
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